Here is a powerful story of how our writer, Ed, learned an equation that most find difficult to accept: Failure + Faith x Perseverance = Success. Sometimes we are so fixated on doing what is “right” or what we believe is pleasing to God that we overlook the greater purpose: Bringing Him joy. Then, when we wonder why our good deeds aren’t acknowledged, God reminds us that it isn’t about us. The fruits of our goodness will stir change, but we must have faith, patience and perseverance.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-5 NIV)
A lot of times we see and hear about amazing testimonies of God. What we rarely hear about is the journey that got them there. One day I was on the subway praying and asking the Lord for an opportunity to see somebody healed. I’d watched a lot of testimonies from Bethel Church and wanted to see it firsthand. After I finished praying the subway reached my station. The doors opened up and low and behold, a girl in a wheelchair with a cast on her leg was sitting outside.
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I stepped out and stood in complete shock at how quickly God answered my prayer. Completely paralyzed by fear, I didn’t know how to approach the situation. I was dumbfounded and as I processed the situation, the girl and a guy pushing the wheelchair went their way.
After they were gone, I was really discouraged by my lack of faith and felt like I had just let God down. God set me up perfectly to pray for a girl to be healed, but I didn’t do my part. I left the station and got on the bus to get home. On my way home, I decided that I was not going until I prayed for someone. On the way home, the busy passed by a hospital and I got off. Walking into the lobby, again I saw another man in a wheelchair who also had a cast on his leg. I sheepishly walked right passed him into the hospital as he rolled by. Sitting in the lobby of the hospital, I was so frustrated again and wondered why I was scared. I prayed and prayed and finally gathered enough courage to go and pray for the man. Going back outside I saw him from a distance sitting outside smoking a cigarette.
After buying a drink at Starbucks, I stood next to him and pretended that I was waiting for someone. 10 minutes or so went by before I finally asked him what happened to his leg. It went something like this.
Me: Hi… What happened to your leg?
Poor bystander in wheel chair: I got into a bike accident.
Me: Does it hurt?
Poor bystander in wheel chair: Yes.
—- Awkward silence- Another 5 minutes go by.
Me: Um do you believe in miracles? Because I do.
Poor bystander in wheel chair: Uh.. sure.
Me: I believe that God can heal people.
Poor bystander in wheel chair: Okay, I believe that people heal over time.
Me: Yeah, but I think God can heal you right now.
Poor bystander in wheel chair: (Grin)
Me: Can I pray for you????
Poor bystander in wheel chair: No
—- Awkward silence. As the two of us sit there, I tried to rescue the situation but all is lost. Another 5 minutes go by.
Me: Can I assist you and push you somewhere?
—- The man rolls away in his wheelchair.
Completely humiliated I walked home in defeat, feeling as though I wasn’t holy, “anointed” or gifted enough. I said to myself, “This isn’t for me.” I even said something along the lines of, “I am not Jaeson Ma…”
As I kept kicking myself and complaining, the Lord spoke to me. He gently showed me that it isn’t by my strength that people are healed. It isn’t because of how “clean” or how pure I am that God uses me. It isn’t by ANYTHING I can do. It is purely by His grace and my faith in Him. That day the Lord broke away the lies that put so much pressure on myself to perform the impossible.
A few weeks later, I met a brother in the church who had already actively been seeing people get healed and walking in God’s anointing. I talked to him and asked if he could show me how he prays for the sick. We went out onto the streets and this time I saw how differently he approached people. The way he talked to strangers and the compassion he had was so authentic. It was so casual and natural. This brother even shared testimonies with people on the street and encouraged them that God wanted to heal them.
Since that time, I’ve prayed for dozens of people on the streets and seen many of them get healed. What I’ve learned is that when we take risks and fail miserably, we have the opportunity into walk into success or doubt and become jaded. God is much more concerned with our character than he is with our comfort.
How badly do you want to see God heal someone? Will you be discouraged and give up after praying for a few people? I encourage you to proceed as breakthrough is right around the corner. Seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive.
