Our Editor Rachel debuts in WitnessLA with a story which brought her back to one of the darkest times in her life.
A few years ago, I was at the bottom of my career in Hong Kong entertainment. The company I joined was seemingly established with the biggest stars and 30 years of history but all of a sudden, it closed down. When I was drowning my sorrows in Shanghai with my friends, I met an accident which caused me to be hospitalized. That same weekend, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. When I thought I was at the lowest point of my career, love and friendship, a close friend of mine sent me emails, asking me to come home to Malaysia, where she would be there for me. Her name was Shu.
Shu was the girl with the beautiful hair and features. She had a smile that would light up the entire college hallway. Even when she was going through tough times, she would tell me her stories with a great sense of humor. Her optimism was an inspiration to me.
Our friend, Kytia, parallels everyday circumstances, such as repairing a leak in the ceiling, to lessons that God teaches us, like healing our greatest pains from the inside out. Kytia’s testimony reminds us that God can use times of great sadness, confusion and struggle to break open our hearts and bring healing.
Recently, my husband and I had our first encounter with serious repairs to our apartment. Ever since the first time it rained while we were living on our own, we’ve been dealing with leaks here and there in our office. There was even an incident when I noticed a leak above my computer desk right before we were about to leave for a meeting. If we had left just a few minutes sooner, my keyboard might have been soaked by the time we returned home and that would have been a whole other problem.
Scars from the past can run deep. But God has a plan for redemption for all of us. Our friend Tayen shares her story of how knowing Jesus Christ helped her overcome pain, scars, questions and even her own poor choices.
A few weeks ago at our house church’s prayer meeting, a girl named R came for prayer because she had a tumor growing on her ovaries. I remember as we asked her to sit in the center of the room for us to pray over her, she had this really uncomfortable look on her face, as if she was saying “yeah I’m not sure this is actually going to do anything, but I guess I’ll give it a shot.” She didn’t seem to like talking about herself, but started to share how this wasn’t the first time she had a tumor on her ovaries, and that she had had tumors removed from that area before, and all the surgeries had left her with a lot of scar tissue inside. Now that the tumor had grown back again, she didn’t know what to do. She said she didn’t really know what to ask God for, but just wanted us to pray for her and this latest tumor.
Our Pastor Jaeson started asking her more questions to prepare to lead her, and the 30 or 40 of us there, in a prayer for her healing. Jaeson asked for a volunteer to pray for R, and my friend Sarah W. volunteered to pray for her. As Jaeson and Sarah W. were beginning to minister to her, I felt the Holy Spirit move me to say something to R, in front of the entire group. No I really shouldn’t, I thought, reasoning with myself. I’m not the leader here. Jaeson and Sarah W. have all the experience with healing prayer. Besides, I had just come in to the prayer meeting late about 30 minutes before this, and had interrupted everyone because I decided to ride my bike in, and had to literally lift it up over all the people in the room. Accept your place, Dan, I remember telling myself. Don’t think the world revolves around you and what you want to say.
But I kept feeling that familiar nagging, like God wanted me to speak up. Recently, I had gotten better at discerning God’s voice, particularly when it comes to prayer for other people. Through all that God had been showing me, my new motto had become if God asks me to do something, do it. So despite all the mental blockage I had in my mind, I decided to say what God had put on my heart for R…[click “Read More” below to continue]
Have you ever been hurt so badly that you felt like you wanted to die, that life was so full of pain that it wasn’t worth living? Our friend L shares an incredibly moving and personal testimony of how even in our darkest of moments where there is no hope, God has a plan to save what seemed impossible and redeem the unredeemable in our lives.
My testimony of redemption and deliverance is something very private to me, but I feel the Lord telling me that many women have had the same experiences and the shame and guilt is something that needs to be addressed so that others can be liberated through testimony. In my most painful of experiences I feel I must share so that others can come forth and also be free from their past mistakes.
I was 23 years old when I lost my virginity. While growing up I always had it instilled in my heart that I would save myself for my husband. I wasn’t Christian at that time, but for some reason looking back I knew God was protecting me. I wanted to wait until marriage because frankly I deserved the best and in my mind, I knew I would never settle. I also knew I was so emotionally and mentally unprepared for the consequences that could ensue with such a step as sex. I saw many of my friends give in and the foreseen destruction that occurred after. I didn’t want that. So while growing up I guarded my body, but I didn’t guard my heart. I fell in love many times, I jumped from relationship to relationship but always held my ground with my virginity. As difficult as it was, my boyfriends loved me and respected my boundaries, until I met (lets call him) Robert.
We met and I was immediately attracted to him. We dated right after my break up and I just went along with everything he said and I was just going through the motions. We dated for months and our sexual chemistry was very strong. One night while making out, we went to far. He basically raped me and when it happened I was in shock, as was he. I cried and he felt guilty. In that moment I knew that I was trapped. That this guy I didn’t even love would have to be my husband. I thought I had to do the right thing because the one thing that I treasured that held any worth or value in me was stripped away. He told me I love you and I’m going to marry you, but I saw my ideal future shattered to pieces. I lost my identity…[click “Read More” below to continue]
