Our Father is Always Faithful
The Lord is truly good.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
I realized that the Lord is so faithful when we remain in His love through obeying what He desires. His commands are not there to make you feel used or abused (although many misrepresent God to be that way). His commandments say “do not murder,” “do not commit adultery,” “do not bear false witness…” Is it that horrible to not murder, cheat and lie to someone? If that is the case, why are there people that hate on the God when He asks us to obey these directions? I believe if all mankind would simply obey what He desires for us to do, I’m sure we would be living in a different world.
But of course this isn’t the case. Our natural inclination is for selfishness. Think about it. People don’t start out wanting to kill people, lie, cheat on their spouses… We are a fallen world that is in need of a savior. And that savior is Jesus Christ.
I know this post is for what is happening currently. There is a lot going on in my life that I can delve into. However I feel it appropriate for some reason to share a bit of my former life before coming to Christ. For whoever out there that is in need of someone to understand and to possibly find hope, read on.
I grew up in a family of four. My father was a compulsive gambler for 15 years, causing us to lose our house, cars, and relations to extended family members. We have filed for bankruptcy, ran away to Korea to escape the threats of loan sharks, and had lawsuits on us. I had moved to the cities of Cerritos, Bellflower, La Mirada, Downey, Northridge, Granada Hills, and Los Angeles all in my elementary years. Why? When you don’t know where the rent check is going because your father has an addictive problem, you get kicked out. It was in Northridge that my family hit rock bottom, as my mother contemplated suicide asking her church friends if suicide was okay. My brother had pains in his stomach but we could not afford to take him to the hospital. I was a very confused child, and luck would have it, picked up the habit of shoplifting and watching pornography. And to make matters worse… The Northridge earthquake destroyed our home.
I don’t know how I am living today. There were more details to follow, as I involved myself with drugs, gang members and a life filled with vengeful anger. I hated life, my family and the misery I created for myself.
During my freshmen year in high school, I was very truant and disruptive at Gahr High school. In addition to the multiple suspensions for threatening teachers, creating commotion at school, I was getting beat at home. Most of it was my fault. I created the mess that infuriated my parents. But I can attest to the emotional damage that physical abuse can produce in a child. Even now, after many years of healing, I have tendencies to react to hurtful words with instant defense. Being called obscene names, hit in the face with various items (i.e. telephone, cups, etc.) it’s a blessing I wasn’t beat with a golf club or bats like some of my friends. I recall one time that I was caught shoplifting at Costco. My father was informed of the situation. He grabbed me, beat me, and all that there was left was freshly colored burgundy stains on our white carpet, all extracted from my shivering face. My mother was bruised from being the buffer between my father’s fists and my face. For some reason, as I write this I cannot help but tear up knowing that there are still some of you out there that have suffered like this before (or still is)… [click “Read More” below to continue]
