Ever been caught by the lying game? Our friend Touyee shares his struggles with telling the truth and how he was brought from the pit of lies to victory.
Let me preface my story with information that is vital to my journey of being saved. I’ve only attended one college, I’ve never held a job, I was hired to turn a book into a screenplay, and I’ve spent a weekend in San Diego for a conference. These may seem like random facts about me, but they are at the very foundation my story is set upon. For all of these are lies.
I didn’t have a Christian upbringing, but I was exposed to Christian faith at various points in my childhood and adolescence. I admitted God’s existence, but only desired to pray to Him when I wanted something or when trouble happened. My thinking was that I demanded that everything go my way. When my prayers went unanswered for the things that I wanted, I naturally blamed God. My thinking made me believe that I didn’t need God to guide me. That if I found enough pleasure, possessions, power, or prestige, then I would be happy. Through this thinking, I neglected, ignored, and eventually rejected God.
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Two years later, I arrived in Los Angeles to pursue screenwriting. In Los Angeles, I met Chyna. We quickly developed a relationship and I couldn’t have been happier. I had so much apart from God, but even though I looked very much alive, I was spiritually dead.
Revelation 3:1: I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive, but you are dead.
Being away from God, I had allowed the power of sin to control my life, specially the sin of lying. I was living with a careless attitude towards lying. I had allowed lying to exert such a powerful pull on me that my heart was controlled by lying. I was lying of my own free will. Lying will always leave death and destruction in its path.
During the early stage of our relationship, she revealed to me about her difficult childhood. This beautiful woman had just opened up her heart to me and I promised to love her and to never hurt her. A broken promise is a lie. She also revealed that she was a born-again Christian. At this point in our relationship, I was so happy being with her that attending church was a small price to pay. I had no intention of coming back to God. At my first service with her, as I was looking at the cross in the church, I felt this huge feeling of satisfaction because inside my mind I was yelling at Him,
“Look what I have without You! I’m happy without You! I don’t need You!”
Proverbs 12:22: The Lord detests lying lips.
I’m babysitting my cousin. I played soccer in college. I do soccer clinics as a coach.
Proverbs 15:4: A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
I’ve only tried marijuana a few times. I’ve only been to one college. I got hired to write a script.
Proverbs 12:19: But lies are soon exposed.
I’m doing rewriting jobs. I’m going to San Diego for a conference.
Lying had become a habitual part of my life that from the beginning of our relationship and throughout, I was lying to her. I was following my sinful nature which meant I was ignoring God’s will and the destructive nature of my lies. Eventually she discovered my lies, but was able to forgive me, both of us believing that I would change for our relationship. The power of lying had trapped me in an impossible lifestyle. I was absolutely hopeless and helpless, could no longer do anything to enhance my existence or change my condition. Without Christ, I was hopeless and helpless to remedy my habitual lying.
Despite all this, I believed that I could change without Christ. Needless to say, I didn’t change and couldn’t change. My lying continued for several more months with her discovering more of my lies until she couldn’t take the pain and hurt anymore. I had fallen so far down that pit of lies that I had dug for myself. I wasn’t looking for help out because all I wanted to do was keep on digging. I had an inability to save myself. As much as she loved me, this beautiful and caring woman was begging me to change. My lies had caused me to break my promise to never hurt her. Her love for me should have been enough to change me, but my lying had caused me to be so far removed from God that nothing in this world could change me.
When our relationship ended, I finally came to realize how far I had fallen. Because lying had become such a power in my life, only the good news of the crucified and risen Savior could help me overcome the power of lying and set me free. However, I doubted that God, who knows everything about me and all the lies I’ve told, could possibly forgive me. I had left Him and now I wanted to come back to Him not only for His forgiveness, but also for deliverance to transform my life from that of an alien liar to that of a child of God. There was no way God would forgive me, left alone help me escape the power of lying. The power of the Gospel dramatically changed that.
Forgiveness and deliverance is found in Jesus Christ. Through the blood of Christ that was shed on the cross, my lies were washed away. I couldn’t lie beyond what Jesus paid on the cross. When I returned to God, no explanations were necessary. That I was a liar was already an established fact. What mattered was not that I had lied, but that I had come home. Like the parable of the prodigal son, God is the loving father who gladly receives back a child who deserves nothing but scorn and rejection. I found it so difficult to accept the reality of God’s grace because I finally came to the awareness of how much of a liar I really was. I asked myself the question,
“Did I do anything to motivate God to send his Son to die on the cross for me?”
The answer was a resounding no, because of my lies I deserved the wrath of God. Through Jesus Christ, I found what I most needed, but couldn’t get for myself.
Romans 12:2: Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
The transformation of my life came by the renewing of my mind. Through the word of God, I learned that grace was received by faith in Christ, which meant trusting Christ with my life. I was finally ready to put the full weight of my life in Jesus. Confessing that Jesus Christ was Lord and Savior of my life was the easy part, the most challenging issue for a habitual liar like me was the call for repentance.
The first several days after accepting Jesus Christ, I found myself being very deliberate with my interactions with individuals. I was slowing everything down in my mind, double-checking and triple-checking that my responses were true before I spoke. There were some days where I felt I wasn’t strong enough so I would stay inside my apartment and avoid people at all cost. It’s on these days that God truly showed that He was working in my life. On these days, for whatever particular reason I would have to leave my apartment to run errands, which meant social interaction with people. I’ve always been the type of person who avoided conversations with random strangers in public, but from sitting at Starbucks, waiting in line at Best Buy, to my evening running session, random strangers were starting conversations with me. I was proving to myself through the way I spoke the truth to these people that I had repented and turned to God. This was God’s subtle way of making sure each day I was renewing my dedication to the Lord. As the days turned to weeks and then months, I was proving to myself that the power of lying had lost its hold on me. I was speaking the truth because I believed in God’s grace for my life which was leading me to be a truthful servant of the Lord. Some power greater than anything I had ever known had shaken the foundation of my life.
Jesus continues to give me strength to overcome temptation. I need Christ’s help because temptation is wide-spread and the enemy is always looking to make me feel that I will not remain truthful. God is truthful and has provided me everything I need to remain truthful. God sent Jesus to be my advocate and mediator, given me the power of the Holy Spirit to strengthen me, and fellowship with believers to keep accountability and encouragement. In spite of my weaknesses, God is able to work through me, only when I yield to His will. Through God, my life has been transformed from something truly ugly into something beautiful.
I took lying lightly and it soon controlled my life. For those who are out there controlled by lying, take heart. God is greater than any problem you have. Trust in God and follow His will in your life, then you will find great blessings. Through God’s grace, you can be free from guilt, for all your lies have been washed away. By God’s grace, we should make peace with those our lies have wronged. I can’t give Chyna back the time she lost while being with a liar like me, I can’t undo the pain and hurt my lies caused her, all I can do is sincerely apologize for lying and pray that our Heavenly Father in his infinite love will restore and lift up this precious daughter of His.
For those who have fallen so far down that pit of lies you’ve dug for yourself, there’s hope. At this lowest place you’ve ever been, you still matter. That’s where Jesus finds liars- where you’re absolutely lost and Christ says,
“I love you, you down in that pit, I’m here to save you.”
Jesus wants to come into your life and restore you with a new tongue that speaks the truth. God exposes the truth, but it is so much better to confess. Here is the truth about me: I was a liar of the lowest kind, my heart was controlled by lying, but the ultimate truth about me is that I have been saved by the grace of God.
I pray my testimony has encouraged you. For those who are struggling with lying, if you’d like to talk more with me about my journey or have any questions, you can email me at tvang3@yahoo.com or find me at RealityLA 1309 Wilton Pl. Hollywood,CA 90028. Services are held Sundays at 9:00, 12:00, and 5:00. We’d love to have you!
